Here, Prince!

As little girls neither one of my daughters was ever particularly interested in pretending to be any one of the growing arsenal of Disney princesses.  This was fine with me, since it meant they never wished their father were a Prop King instead of Prop Master.  And it also meant I never had to help them waddle down the street on Halloween night holding a mermaid fishtail off the sidewalk.

Fortunately, when I was a little girl the Disney marketing machine had not yet been cranked up to eleven, so the issue of my royal aspirations only came up when either Snow White, Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty would make a celluloid appearance at our closest movie palace.  (For the record, I did want to be Cinderella, but only because of The Dress.  Considering the future years wasted watching red carpet arrivals, you might say that was my "gateway gown.")

So it came as some surprise when my 16 year-old  recently announced that she wanted to be Rapunzel, the newest Disney Princess, from "Tangled."  Was it because of her magical hair?  No.  Was it because at 16 Rapunzel manages to banish the only mother figure she has known from her life?  Thankfully, no.  Was it because she wanted to marry a prince?  Yep.

But not just any prince.  My daughter wants to marry Flynn Rider.  Not someone who looks like Flynn Rider.  But the actual, fictional Flynn Rider.

Preposterous, I know.  Although, not because Flynn Rider is two dimensional.  There are many men walking around out there for whom that third dimension is a drawback.  My issue with her selection was due to the fact that Flynn has a goatee!  Could this girl seriously be my daughter?  Goatees are for slackers.  Goatees are underachieving beards.  And I hate beards!  Goatees announce to the world "I can't grow a mustache."  And so I ask you, what else will Flynn Rider not be able to do for my daughter?  (Before your mind goes too far in the gutter, the answer is "support her.")

Now, I'm not saying that I haven't had my share of foolish, youthful flings with Peter Pans, my crush on Peter Pan actually being one of them.  But in my opinion, if you're looking for true romantic satisfaction among the computer-generated, you simply can't beat the nameless prince from "Beauty and the Beast."

That mane of hair!  That strong, aquiline nose!  Those shoulders!  Even when he was a Beast his voice was enough to make your knees go weak (in no small part because that was Robby Benson's voice -- a real life heartthrob of my youth).  Granted, he almost lost me with that cheesy turn-to-the-camera "Look at me!" moment at the end.  But face it, when you're that beautiful and you haven't seen your real face in several years, you're allowed a moment of vainglory.

Some would say that to fantasize about a lover who is animated -- in the pen-and-ink sense, at least -- is unhealthy.  And I'll bet some of you parents out there are shaking your head and judging me, certain that my encouragement of my daughter's infatuation will only reinforce unrealistic expectations and all but assure her inability to find a true (i.e. human) partner later in life.  But that's where you'd be wrong.  It is possible to meet, fall in love with, and even marry a cartoon character...





I did.